Short stories

NEWS AND OTHER STUFF

2011-07-16T11:31:00.002+02:00

My nephew came back from China. He said: "No dear uncle, I couldn't buy the thing you wanted". Yes, I can understand: It's impossible to find in China a red t-shirt with the Mao's face.

My brother has been kissed 34 times by some sweet wasps. He is incredibly irritated for this demonstration of affection. Today he comes back from the hospital.

My friend G. flew over my little sweet town with a little airplane. He says he saw me while I was running. "You were so fast!" Well, I don't remember if the adjective was fast or ridiculous.

One of my ex girlfriends wrote me: "Sweetheart, I have a 2 year son. It totally looks like you!". It's a pity we don't meet each other since 1995.

I will be tomorrow again at the sea. I will be brave, reckless: no more suntan cream 40+. I bought the 20+.

paint - the result

2011-07-15T14:12:00.004+02:00

People like me, with a HUGE INTELLECTUAL BACKGROUND, when they have to do a job they never did, the first thing they do is: To study very well the job, inquire about it, read specialist magazines ecc.
For my house painting I did all.
So, what I did after the study:
9.11. Bought paint and the other stuff
9.13 coffee in the bar
9.14 discussion with friends workersn for further advices.
9.28 back at home
9.31 new cup of coffee (addict)
9.43 Prepared the room: out the bed, desk, wardrobe, books, ecc.
10.29 cover the pavement, the window, the lights, sockets, skirting board.
11.49 prepared the paint: right mix paint-water.
12.03 Put the ladder near the wall
12.04 put the paint on the ladder
12.05 painted the first 3 centimeters
12.05. and 10 seconds: Understood that it's better to paint for first another wall
12.05 and 25 seconds: moved the ladder
12.05 and 27 seconds: Saw that the paint bucket is open
12.05 and 28 seconds: terror on my face
12.06 my brother came into my room because he heard some swearwords in 5 different languages: the paint covered three walls, and my entire body.

Unfortunately it's not a funny story I created for you but a true story of a disenchantement: Mommy wasn't right when 30 years ago she told me: my dear you can do all you want in your life.

Painter

2011-07-12T09:19:00.003+02:00

Today (and yesterday actually) I'm a painter.

I will not paint mona Lisa (well, maybe will be Guernica).

No, I have to paint some rooms at home.

It's a job I like, because it's funny for a non worker like me to paint, be dirty, look like a “real man, BABY”!
But this year it's a little bit stressfull. And I will write you why.

Sunday it's the day we go to the sea to be kissed by the sun and caressed by the water. Well, last sunday I've lost a stupid competition. So today I have to paint a part of a wall with a toothbrush!
The desperate italian painter now goes to pay the forfeit. Adieu!

PS: One reader wrote me in facebook: why you don't try to have more readers, you're funny! Thank you, but about some things I'm a little bit lazy. And most of all, Do you think a stupid person that for a competition paints a wall with a toothbrush has time for other things???

MAN - DOG

2011-07-08T09:53:00.003+02:00

Italo: Nice morning: I go running
unknown Dog: I go outside to poop.
Italo: Fresh air, I'm running very well.
Unknown dog: I can't find the perfect place to poop.
Italo: My lope is perfect. I go faster.
Unknown dog: I did pooh. But I'm not satisfied.
Italo: Life is beautiful.
Unknown dog: when a dog don't poop well, its life is incomplete.
Italo: oh, a beautiful dog on the street.
Unknown dog: A man.
Italo: I will say: ciao my friend, life is beautiful!
Unknown dog: you son of a bitch. You are too happy for me.
Italo: no! My leg no!!!

Unknown dog: perfect pooh no.... perfect bite yes.

Another absence

2011-07-06T09:06:00.002+02:00

I'm not a good blogger, I know. I would like to write each daybut for work I have to do it in other platforms and about not so interesting arguments. So when I have an hour, I prefere to go out and run run run!
This periode I had to translate some menus in different languages. It has been for me a nightmare to do it; and during the nights I had actually some nightmares about it.
I dreamed Spaghetti run against me, trying to tie me hands and feet, angry pigs hitting me with the heads and screaming the meat cuts in Spanish and French. Mister Cameron and Mister Obama talked about wich name is better for Pizza. Mamma mia.
Have you evere been nightmares because of your work?

WATER IN MY TOWN

2011-06-21T08:47:00.003+02:00

A lot of towns in Italy have problems with arsenic in the water: too high level.
Because of this we can't drink the water from our taps, and either cook food. So we have to drive where water is drinkable and take it with bottles and cans.
So our town decided to buy two "nozzles": unfortunaltely only one now is working.
This nozzles works from 4 a.m to 2 a.m, 22 hours a day. And in my town we are 5.000 people.
Do you think it's good?
NO!
I went there three times to take water.
The first time I went there with 10 bottles (you know, to cook pasta two times a day we need water). When other people saw the 10 bottles screamed: NO ARE YOU CRAZY???? Only 6 bottles is permitted! You are insensitive!
I didn't know my friends! Now I know it and I'll take only 6.
You lier, you WILL TAKE 10!!!!!!!!!!!! !??!?!?!?!?? Why I have to lie I thought!!!! SO I came back home. Without water. I know it's summer, we are a little nervous people, so better dont' talk.
The next day I went there with 5 bottles, yes five, not 6. TO BE SURE.
I went there, I waited 35 minutes my turn. Then when I began to take the water an old lady, named (from me) Antichrist with lipstick told me: you are not a gentleman I'm a lady, I'm old with this summer I can die now.
Ok madame, I took only 1 bottle it's your turn. I will take water after you-
I waited her then I began to take water. A worker approached me and screamed: IF YOU WANT THE SPARKLING WATER YOU GO TO THE MARKET (yes, we have 2 choices: natural or sparkling).
I answered: Dear friend, if I drink natural or sparkling is not your problem!
NO? With the sparkling you are less fast and we have to wait hours for you (The we was just him, and the hours were 6 minutes).
I took only one sparkling and I came back at home with only two bottles.
Today I went there with ONLY ONE BOTTLE
Another worker and me we arrived to the parking at the same time. But I arrived before him to the nozzle.
When I put the 5 cents in the nozzle for the water this worker said half pissed and half bored:
YOU CAN'T COME HERE FOR ONLY 1 BOTTLE! WHEN YOU COME HERE YOU HAVE TO TAKE more bottles so you will not stand in line too much times.

Now, I stopped the wine because doctors say it's dangerous for the liver, but because of the water I have gastritis.

Ausencia

2011-06-14T14:44:00.000+02:00

After the lunch I'm sending the last cv's for today. While I'm drinking a coffee, I listen to Bregovic songs. And when “ausencia” comes, memories from Czech republic come as well. And my heart hurts.

It's a Friday, like any other. The January's cold in Brno is still penetrating, but I will take some hot wine downtown.
It's in the cafes and bookstores that I'll spend the time, until my friends come out from the latest lessons at the University. A cigarette always in my mouth, an Italian friend who thumbs a catalog of a just opened shoe store and grey clouds above us. I feel more cold because of the wind. We arrive at the tram platform, opposite to the exhibition centre. My friend shows me the catalog. She says that all those boots are horrible. I nod to her like if I understand what she says, prolonging my last puff of cigarette. Better not to contradict a woman about the shoes. I see the tram that comes slowly. While I'm turning to throw the cigarette I see her, a mother. She sits on the edge of the bench next to a flower box, with two children. With her tired face she looks at the tram, in silence. Then she orders the children to be more quiet, but they do not listen to her because they are kids, and kids want just play. The tram is standing in the previous stop. I light another cigarette because I'm stupid: I know that in few seconds I will throw it away. While I cover the lighter with the hand, a child runs in front of me and smiles. And at that time...... stop.
I can't. The heart beats, a dull beat.The two brothers don't have jackets but are covered with two blankets. Their clothes, old, threadbear, but clean. And those cheerful faces.
So I turn the eyes to the mother. An old imitation leather jacket, slightly tousled hair and two sad eyes that look down. Those eyes that would like to shout out: why my children should not have anything? Why? What the hell want these foreigners? And it's my fault if we are poor?
My friend awakens me, embracing me with her arm. She has understood how I feel because it's the same feeling she has. Shame, sense of helplessness. The tram arrives, is the number 1. Our tram. The woman and the two children expect another one. Ausencia.
And whenever I think about it I feel bad

So....

2011-06-11T10:19:00.002+02:00

first of all, sorry if in this post my English is as beautiful as Trump's hair, but you know... no time ecc.

These weeks a lot busy. Personal reasons (wellness, aliens meetings....).
SO...
what happened in my life this period, what happened in Italy.

In Milan and Neaples, two big cities (North and South), Berlusconi has lost the elections.
Tomorrow and on monday we will vote 4 referendum about public water, nuclear and against one law, that Berlusconi made for him.

My smartphone is broken. It's the third I destroy. I don't know. Maybe stupid people have smartphones to increase self-esteem.
My mother, still ill, still on bed, decided that at 70 years old it's time to study mathematics. So we, sons, have bought 400euros books about mathematics.
You know, she's Finn and now she has to study mathematics in Italian. Good challenge.
Yesterday she asked me 400times about all she didn't understand.
I have a degree in east european languages.
I hate mathematics. Why we sons we have to realize her wishes??!?!?!??!?
Yesterday I worked as surfer (find addresses and phones on internet): now I know 457 places in Italy where I can buy fishes.
My italian nephew have been 3 days in Morocco. Next week he will be in China.
My finnish niece works now in Cyprus and next semester she will work in Egypt.
I'm a really proud uncle.
My ex fiancee called me: she wants photos. Our photos. To remember me, and moments we passed together. Sweet thinks.
My brother wants back 100 euros he gave me last month. He's not so sweet.
Ciao belli.

happy week end

2011-05-28T08:20:00.003+02:00

I'm here to wish a fantastic week end to all of you.
I don't blog and I don't go to other blogs as I would. Too busy in this period. And when I have spare time on internet I must to teach my brother How he can be a perfect farmer on farmville.
I know, sad life.

But a I would like to share with you a little news.
In Deauville, France, this week the Bosses of the world have met to discuss a lot of problems: North Africa, Fukushima, ecc.
Before a meeting, Silvio Berlusconi, our(?) italian PM, wanted to say to Obama an urgent news.
He got next to the US president and he has said: In Italy we have a left-wing judicial dictatorship.

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Nice week end to all of you

WHO DID IT?

2011-05-23T12:54:00.003+02:00

I think you are not my friends.

I think you hate me.

I think you hate mankind.

Who brought her the trumpet?

HALF MARATHON

2011-05-14T08:59:00.012+02:00

For an entire year I didn't write in this blog. But life continued, so I want to tell you about what I did. Like for example when....

This winter I didn't train because the weather was awful, I had to work, the aliens abducted me........

Yes, in Winter I'm idler than usual.
The 25 of February my brother Timo called me:
"Hi Italo, what do you think about an half marathon. It could be a funny thing to do together?"
"Well of course"
"Good, because we will run the Rome half marathon"
The only thing Timo didn't tell me it was that the marathon was the 27 of February.
What to do?
Well, I went out, before the dinner, to train.
After 2 km I said the train was done. I know half marathon means 21 km, but whatever.
On the eve of a marathon a very important thing to do is the dinner:
The runner body needs a lot of carbs. So I ate two plates of pasta. ANd to have more energy I added some glasses of wine!

THE D DAY
Wake-up time 5.45 (we had to go to Rome)
Breakfast: biscuits, jam and coffee.
At 7 the departure to Rome for the two gladiators!
At 7,20 break in a bar because I had to pee and my brother wanted a cappuccino and croissant.
When we arrived, I felt so good, so happy. The atmosphere was so energetic. People did stretching, greeted old friends and collegues.

The professional marathon men are like perfect engines with their techinal clothing.
Timo and me were dressed like workers: k-way, wool gloves and wool hat.

The start at 9.20.
So exciting, Thousands of people.

And here a summary of the run:

Km 1: we are in fine form.
Km 2: Timo is smiling, despite his 92 kg.
km 5: I feel very good so I decide to run faster.
km 7: I feel quite good, around me beautiful women from Poland.
km 9,5: Timo called me (yes, the NON perfect runners run with cell phones): "Italo wait!!!". I decide to run all the climb until the km 12 and then to slow down and wait him.
km 11: the climb is quite easy... for the others. OXYGEN WHERE ARE YOU?
km 11,5: a 90 year old man surpasses me. "Come on, guy, you see I'm in perfect form. What did you do if you made the war like me?" My face smiles, my mind says swearwords.
km 12: I slow down, a lot. I turn my head and I see Timo. He's coming: his face is red like a chilli pepper. "Thanks Italo. Sorry if I spoiled your marathon" "Damn right. I could be between the first runners. Maybe I could win" The old man hears and begin to laugh aloud. Other swearword in my mind! I hate this man!
km 15: volunteers give oranges. MUCH MUCH BETTER THAN DRUGS!
km 16: Our feet hurt but we don't stop to run.
km 17: throats are dry like lybian desert.
km 17, 5: bones begin to cry.
km 18: the oxygen is really finished.
km 19: we see Elvis Presley singing on a tree. Maybe better to walk than run.
km 19,1: we stop with running and we begin to walk.
km 19,5: in the sky appear my fishes Tqeuila and Bonetti: "The force is strong with youuuuu, young Italo!"
km 19, 7: Timo is a little tired. How I know it? Because he phoned me even if he walks 2 meters from me.

km20: WE SEE THE SIGNAL: LAST KM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

km21: The arrive: WE DID IT!

PS: after the arrive I see the 90 year old man. He's not just tired, he feels bad..... :D

Mamma bella

2011-05-08T14:42:00.005+02:00

Today is the mother’s day and I will wish all the best to all the mothers around the world.

My mother is, of course, the best mother I have!
So intelligent (when she says intelligent things), so generous (sometimes), so funny (always).
We, the sons, love so much our mom! Even if sometimes.....

Two months ago my sweet mom told me:

“you know, my dear, when I was a child, 6 year old, I wanted to play the violin, but at the school the teacher gave the violin to another little girl, and my parents didn’t have money to buy it.”
She was so sweet!

So I went to Rome, in a music store, and I bought a violin for her.
It was so exciting to see her open the gift and discover HER violin.

She waited for more than 60 years!

I felt so happy to realize her dream. My heart was crying.

After two days my heart stopped crying. Now our ears are crying.

She wake up us with the violin. She’s not able at all to play it but she tries each morning.
To hear her it’s like to have nightmares each night for an entire year.
My brothers now hate me because I bought the violin.
An advice: if a mother's dream is not realized, there is a reason!

It rains, so...

2011-05-04T15:41:00.010+02:00

When it rains like now the mind runs, flies.

Often to the past. Like when...

"...on the border between Poland and the Czech Republic, waiting for the next train to Krakow. But the next one will be here in 6 hours.

It's a hot day in August and there are only a few souls, and they are all blues.

The ticket clerk comes out and lights up a cigarette.

He scratches his head without taking off the hat.

A homeless looks at the bins and finds a just bite hot dog. An old lady, a silent and patient peasant, is waiting her train to Olomouc.

And me... I'm listening to an old album by the Rolling Stones.

The blues is perfect, because it takes its time. She ("my" she") is standing in front of the train schedule. Her mindset requires to find alternatives. She never rests, even on vacation. "Why we can't visit some museums or little villages nearby?"

I could follow her, as I always did, because her ideas and energy are intriguing.

But today, in this station, on this bench, with these souls, nothing is more involving and intriguing than idleness, than do nothing. And watching the waiting, listening to the silence and living this moment.

She forgives me. Last night she hasn't sleep, so she can now rest for a while. She lies down on the bench, the feet on the rucksack, the head on my lap.

We gotta move. Yes. But calmly".

Jobssssss

2011-04-30T10:23:00.004+02:00

Many of you know it: I'm finding stories for my books. But mainly I'm searching a job. Job is so important because: no job no party!

So today i would like to write down some intelligent answers, advices, theories HR managers told me this year.

1) "Sorry, but you have a too high degree for us"

2) "Sorry but we don't search people who want just funny life! We want serious and qualified people!" (The serious and pestered lady confused Bohemien with bohemist (Czech studies))

3) "Too young" (sept.2010)

4) "Too old" (nov. 2010, same temporary agency)

5) "Could you come tomorrow and bring me a corrected curriculum" (The young employee said that because "it's impossible that one man can have Italo as name". Poor Italo Calvino and Italo Svevo)

6) "Please come next week... today I can't hear requests. Today morning wife's requests were enough"

I could continue but... the blood is boiling.

Better stop this list.

I wish you a nice week end. Tequila and Bonetti, my fishes, say hello!

SOME NEWS (and a photo)

2011-04-27T09:56:00.008+02:00

Some news, very important:

1) Today I'm doing a perfect Pizza Napoli

2) One of my editors said two days ago: "Your book rules, man!"

3) That editor yesterday has stopped with the alcohol

4) A friend of mine, ancient reader of my blogs and my books, has made a group on facebook "Noi leggiamo Italo Calcagni" (we read Italo Calcagni, the link on the right if you are interested, and maybe YOU ARE)

5) My ex fiancée is now a MOM, and I'm happy for her!

6) I was appointed Member of the "centro studi pidariani" Scientific Committee

7) My fishes are able to dance with Lady Gaga songs but not with Jennifer Lopez.

So, after that what can I say more.... ciao belli.

PS: from September I wear glasses

(writer in Piazza Navona)

PLEASE OBAMA, SEND A DRONE TO BOMB MY KITCHEN!!!!!!!

2011-04-25T10:45:00.003+02:00

Today no trip to Tuscany. I feel unwell! I'm sick!

Yesterday too much food and wine.

During the night bad dreams (lasagne and arrosto were flying over me).

I got up at 7 am, the only my dream was to take an antacid and go back to bed.
But when I went into the kitchen. .. the nightmare:
My mother has approached, armed with a wooden spoon and ordered: Taste it!

NOOOOO

The sauce, just awake, no!

Arrivederci, my friends.

Easter and the blog's resurrection

2011-04-21T10:04:00.002+02:00

Ciao.
I know, for Lazarus some days were enough, but I'm not Jesus.

So, what happened? It happened that simply I didn't want write my blog anymore.

And now? And now.. I don't know! Still searching a job, not an ultra temporary job.

So I've decided I will have my own firm. But.. what to do?

A couple of ideas:

1) blogs coaxer: I will write compliments and positive comments for those people who need support. Emoticons free of charge!

2) On line swear words translator: If you are on holidays, you are drinking a beer in Prague or a vodka in Moscow and someone is too rude with you, call me and I will swear in Russian and Czech.

Well, I think they're not good ideas. Better to continue to send curricula and have interviews.

Ps: ciao belli and sorry, I haven't been polite this year.

Easter is gone

2010-04-07T17:20:00.003+02:00

Sorry! A gentleman MUST to wish to all his friends a Quiet peaceful nice, funny Easter. But I didn't do it with you.

Sorry. Dear friends, you know, in Italy we eat a lot and to digest all the food is hard. And during Easter is a war with the stomach. And when a soldier fights he hasn't time for wishes, letters ecc..

For catholic people Easter means a passage... between Death and life.

For non catholic people can have another meaning. For example in Italy is just a Spring holiday, so the meaning is the rebirth... of the life, flowers, butterflies, allergic rhinitis.

For me (and for my family) easter means the last BIG FOOD before the summer.

So on Sunday: Lasagne, spring lambs, cutlet alla milanese, baked potatoes, fried artichokes, capocollo, eggs, colomba pasquale (dove-shaped cake with candid fruit), chocolate eggs, fruits, coffee and of course a marvellous WINEFALL (montepulciano rosso 2008).

THis just for lunch. For dinner the same things but without the fruits (you know, the dinner has to be lighter.. to sleep better).

And on Monday, a funny trip to Tuscany, to visit few little typical tuscan villages (Pienza Montalcino, Montepulciano). And other food!
So yesterday I was on the bed, to cry. Like each year.

So now you can understand why I couldn't write to you happy easter.

But sorry. Ciao belli. Have a great time in your life.

arrivederci

2010-03-01T15:42:00.003+01:00

The mysterious days of Mr. Italo

2010-02-03T17:43:00.001+01:00

Italo disappeared!
What happened?
My blogs (historical, funny, politic, this one as well) did'nt have new posts. MSN and skype off. People sent mails, but did'nt receive answers.
In facebook no bullshits, no attacks against Berlusconi, my daily blog of literature empty. No answers on the phone.
WHERE WAS I?
In jail?
In a flying saucer, victim of alien exams?
In a war country?
In hospital?
Dead?
Mmm. That's interesting. Me, Italo, the owner of my blogs, owner of my cellphone, owner of...my body, I don't know what happened these days?
I now can write, read, live, eat, be able to scream, laugh, sleep. But yesterday? And the last days?
My brain hasn't answers.
My heart either.
Mysterious week.
Maybe I was just under drug effects and I forgot all. Well, my last drug these last years are coffee and pizza.
Maybe I was drunk. (Mmm. Impossible, that's a dogma for me)
Mmm. I don't know what happened.
Please help me. Try to give me a good answer.

And now? The days after Torrone

2010-01-07T11:19:00.010+01:00

Yesterday, january the 6, was my birthday! And with my birthday christmas holidays passed. Nobody is dead, even if most of us have to do hard diet, a lot of sport and make some exams for liver and intestine.
So when we pass an important period we make a resumé, a list.
1) This year I made the codefish fritters and now all my family is happy: now the tradition will continue for many many years, the fritters were delicious (mamma is not so happy, she looked at me worried and said: Ehi I don't want to die, you still don't know the sauces recipes)
2) For the presents I spent all my money, now God (or destiny) will give me as present new works (I need money for summer holidays)
3) I wanted to read 10 ten books these days: unfortunately I read just two. (well, one book and a tv guide)
4) I didn't have the influence A (strange, usually I'm à la page, when an influence comes to Italy I receive it for first)
5) I love italian wine and wine producers love me.
6) I received a lot of nice and expensive presents and I don't know why, seriously (Am I maybe ill? Maybe I will die and my family doesn't want to tell me it?)
7) I like to begin sentences with "I".
8) For my birthday a lot of friends wished for me a new love. Me too, but I have a huge problem. I love women with a foreign accent and now I live in Italy :(
9) Panettone torrone and pandoro, spumante, vino, panpepato, amari, dolci, spaghetti, pesce, nooooooooo I want to write a 10 point list but the food was heavy and now I can't cont

merry christmas and happy digesting

2009-12-28T13:02:00.014+01:00

Yes, I need to digest! Oh my god. My stomach is crying: please stop with the food! The liver begs: Please, no more wine and spumante! My mouth is so tired: chew and laugh all day it's exhausting.
So, what's happened the 24 of december.
I woke up, and I went running 10 km (each day, yes, if I run then I feel less guilty when I eat).
Then cooking. (This year it's my turn to cook, Mamma cooked too many years for us).
Usually for the dinner we have to begin to cook at 8.30 in the morning.
So, I had to deep fry codefish and broccoli. Then I had to prepare the sauces for the pasta, then antipasti, fruit salade, ecc.
At 12hOO I made a break so I had the lunch. For the lunch just a soup (yes, it's a catholic family so for the Eve no meat), a delious chickpea soup. Then cooking. And drinking coffee.
At 20h began the dinner. I make a little list (sorry I will forget something):
antipasti di mare (insalata di mare, sea salad)
spaghetti al sugo di tonno (tuna sauce)
baccalà alla livornese (codefish a la livornese, recipe from LIvorno, italian town)
frittelle di baccalà: codefish fritters
Frittelle di broccolì: broccoli fritters
Frittelle di dita: Fingers fritters (yes, in the morning I lost some fingers in the boiling oil)
fruit salad
panettone
pandoro
panpepato
torrone
cioccolata
a lot of coffee (peasants in south America made a statue of me, to thank me)
a lot of wine (white, red, from Piemonte, and Sardegna)
a lot of spumante Ferrari
During the dinner the usual traditions: poetic contest (each year we write a poem about christmas, this year the title of the contest was: death and christmas). My brother B won.
The chess contest: Actually it's just a battle beetwen me and my nephew. I WON 3-0.
Then the presents. I received a lot of love, consideration and.......well, it's private.
Then my brother T looking at old photos said: Why don't do the same photos now?
So we tried but with no good results.

Sorry I have to finish the post. I Need to digest. Maybe I will write something in the next post. ciao belli.

2009-12-20T17:49:00.004+01:00

Wishes

2009-12-19T15:51:00.003+01:00

Just push play

Christmas gifts list, I would like...

2009-12-18T09:55:00.012+01:00

1) Peace forever everywhere

2) Make love, everywhere (but with someone)

3) to publish a book in Usa and then to make conferences around the States

4) to marry...ahahhahah (no, this is too much even for a joke)

5) to win 1.000.000 euros, just one, and to visit for months Chile, Peru, Argentina, Mexico.

6) to have a relationship with Angelina Jolie or Sara Benincasa.

7) snow for the 25 of december.

8) all my favourite czech beers

9) that my friends Jiri and Jana have a baby and his name will be Italo.

10) Did I say make love?

And you? What do you want as gift from me?

Unusual guide

2009-12-12T15:05:00.004+01:00

Today, as often, I finished my running in the Anfiteatro, the sutrin amphiteatre. While I made my stretching a funny tourist guide came near me. I think he wanted explain me: "dear host, amphiteatre is a cultural place, not a place for stretching".
And he began to tell me in cattish the beauty of that apmphiteatre and its history.
Thank you mr Gatto, you are the perfect guide.
PS: Mr Gatto, usually guides don't rub itself on the tourists legs. Composure please.

A new day

2009-12-08T15:28:00.006+01:00

(photo:copyright Italo Calcagni)

A new day in Sutri.

The cold air and the lights of the night, tired, give the place to the smells and the lights of the day.

The king sun is coming to town, but is not yet there.

It's a moment.

The moment of the change, that moment that never changed for years and years.

The night is gone but the day has to come.

It's a new day, like all days.

And like all days I wake up and I know it: it will be a beautiful day.

Ten vs one

2009-11-30T16:27:00.003+01:00

10-1
Ten things a I love about USA and one I hate.
Love:
1)Angelina Jolie
2) Brooklyn bridge
3) The grand canyon
4) Walt Whitman
5) The red bricks buildings in Boston.
6) The Ferlinghetti San Francisco
7) The Pollock autumn
8) Harlem
9) Gospels in a church during festivities.
10) A policeman in a desert street in Texas.
Hate:
1) the "Applauso all'americana" (I don't know if you have a name for this horrible movie stereotype, when a Stupid person (I hate you!), alone, begins to applaude another stupid hero and then other stupid guys follow him, the same guys two seconds earlier wanted to kill, arrest, fire the stupid hero! I HATE THIS APPLAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

beating heart

2009-11-28T19:18:00.012+01:00

Today after the saturday routine (1okm running under the rain, cooking codfish alla livornese, drinking red wine and sending love to my friends) I was sitting on the sofa. I was uncertain: to go for a walk to the town, read a book or watch videos) I prefered to find some videos on youtube. And I don't know why I watched at videos about september 11, the "live" videos. Video after video my heart was colder and my eyes sad. Death, violence, the nonsense.
After these videos I needed something good, something positive. And when I want to watch at something positive I search Benigni, Roberto Benigni, the funniest italian man, a man who loves poetry, who loves love.
I'm watching now the movie Life is beautiful. It's not just a movie. Life is beautiful is an invitation.

ciao a tutte, belle, it's time to go for a drink with friends. ciaoooo.

ps: I lost my English translator for my books. But I'm not sad. If you are interested I will publish the book in Czech!!!!!! (better than nothing ahhahahah)

Digitalization

2009-11-21T10:11:00.010+01:00

First of all. Each post I write in INGLISCH, and you are so kind you don't comment: "You stupid Italian go study English!!!" so thank you. Please continue be kind with me :D

So.
This Week in Italian began the digitalizion of television. From now analogic signal doesn't exist. Rome is the first european capitol to be digitalized (!?!??!? poor English language, sorry).

If people don't have dtTV they have to buy decoders.

For young people it's something normal, easy to install decoders and to search channels.
But not for old people.

So.....this week I had to teach in my palace how to install decoders and find channels.

Monday, 16. The D day.

At 7 o' clock I heard outside two neighbours scream from the houses (telephones are aliens?!?!?!?): Signora Mariaaaaaaaa, can you see Channel five???
NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I can't!!!!!!!
But just in your room or in your entire house??
I DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. I will check in the Kitchen!
LUCIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, in the kitchen toooooooooooooo.

"WHAT A F...............................K!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " screamed mr Franco. "I worked this night, can I sleep a couple of hours, you two old b.......S!"

"You can't sleep?????? ME neighter, How can I sleep if I know that Channel five is desappeared!!!!!!!" answered signora Maria.

When after 20 minutes I went to the balcony to have breakfast (coffee and coffee) the desperate old neighbours on the street were six.

"Italo, you studied at university didn't you?" (when someone want to ask me something this sentence is imperative) Can you help me with the decoder?" asked me Maria.
Me too please, said Lucia and X.

So I thought, maybe it can be better to teach in the hall of the building. So. I said: Yes, give me an hour and...
What??????????? An hour? My soap will begin in 35 minutes! Are you crazy? screamed Lucia.

"F.......K YOUUUUUUU" Franco couldn't sleep.

So, teaching was a bad idea, mainly because I knew that after a lesson the neighbours could say: Well, now come to me and check my setbox.

So I went to each house of the building (no, actually two neighbours are young and smart and... I went there two days early).

Each house I installed the decoder and I found the channels. And for each house I had to speak about: Channel five, rai uno, new channels, Its' free? Yes, it's free. Have you a new girlfriend? No, I haven't. Oh, why? You are intelligent, doctor, beautiful, Are you gay? No, I'm not. So why? I don't know? Do you want a coffee? No, I have already.....Ok I give you a coffee, No please, With sugar? ....Ok. And a cake? No, thanks. Why???? Do you think it's not good? I made it! Ok, a little piece. Yes, I give you half cake.....

I like to help neighbours but...sometimes......

Autumn in Sutri.

2009-11-14T11:36:00.005+01:00

Ciao dear friends. I saw this morning a sweet thing.

I was coming home from my saturday running. I passed through the village even if the way was longer than usually. Calm streets, cats were as usually the kings of the village.

It was all as usually. The baker whistled with joy, the news dealer ordered the newspapers, the fog still covered the ancient palaces.
But one thing wasn't as usually.
Two members of two adversary families, two usual enemies met in the dark of a little streets behind the cathedral. The old Miss A and the old Mister B. I don't know how old are they, I think more than 80, but one thing I know. The two old people kissed each other!

When they meat each other in the streets, in the piazza they sparrow, but... obviously secretly... they love each other.

Buona fortuna A and B!

Buon fine settimana!

2009-11-07T10:56:00.002+01:00

A post just to wish you a happy week end!

Some feelings

2009-11-02T10:55:00.009+01:00

I hate violence.
On facebook there are too many violent groups. Someone want kill politicians, or singers. I think it's so stupid. And unfortunately some friends say: It's just funny. It's not funny. It's stupid.
And unfortunately not just on facebook. I feel people is a little crazy.
In Rome some homosexuals got beaten up. WHY?
And not just in Italy. I feel too many violence.
You know, when Obama won the Nobel prize, some people said: Why? He didn't do anything. It was too early.
Maybe it was too early, but for me he deserves the prize because he's the Hope.

My site: my italian site will change. 25 of november will be another thing!

My work: I translated a page and I discovered I'm good in Czech (it wa so difficult)

My book: I arrived in a point that I don't know how my protagonist has to change his situation.

My religion: My assistant and friend will write all the rules (dogmatic things)

My new blog: I will write a little new blog here, a poetic blog. Because I think two blogs are never enough on internet: poetic blogs and blogs about food.

CIao belle

2009-10-31T11:29:00.007+01:00

Today the run was perfect. The Lake course was unbelievable. Fresch air, beautiful sun, a marvellous yellow red and brown leaf carpet. My neighbour dog was so excited: Today they will together all day playing in the wood. Pressed play on my mp3 player before to start the run. And I've been in a romantic movie. On the Lake side two young couples sat on the beach. I think they are strangers, maybe German. They looked so happy.
On the other side of the road, in the wood, a lot of people searching for wood and chestnuts. I like to see, like today, when fathers and sons make these things together. It's amazing to see children smiles when they can play with leaves, and discover a new world, the nature.
The white horses still eat and run on the reserve. BIrds fly and fish near the grove of reeds. There you can see a splendid song, a poem, poem of life. I don't know if I don't find difficult to run because of the music or because of the place. I don't know how long before I arrive to my car but, I don't care. Today is a perfect day. I wish you a sweet week end. ciao.

P.S.: today I put a song, it was one the songs I have in my mp3 player.Coincidence that yesterday I spoke with on emy ex girlfriend? The song is so romantic. She sings ....I'm no more with you..... you are no more that person.........I'm no more with you, I see the clouds up there...you have to smile to me, if you can.. it will not easy, I know.....Arrivederci, amore, ciao.

life update

2009-10-27T15:37:00.011+01:00

Dear friends (and maybe future followers of our new religion), just an update.

Yesterday I wanted to give a lesson to my friends and make a video about how sutrin people have fantasy when they have follow the laws on the streets (40 km/h is never 40 and never less than 80, car parking on the platform has to be perfect (if pedestrians can pass the parking is not perfect), the right hand side can change because of the weather, personal issues, feelings, sun, horoscope). Well, I wanted but I didn't give the lesson because...... I received a sanction!!!!!!!! :( I'm so bad. How a teacher can be a good teacher if he makes mistakes!?!?!?!? Well.

Today I couldn't work, my pc gone crazy. He's too old, my poor Franco (yes, he has a name).

About the new religion: Me and my assistant, friend, co-founder Daniel we think it's not important Now to explain our religion. We want to begin from the followers.

So, for first we search followers, they promise (swear?) to follow our future religion, and then we will explain all.
Isn't it a good way to create a religion? We think yes.

And now answer to never-received questions:

Yes, we will earn money with this religion, but just in the future, now it has to be free.

Yes, we believe in extraterrestrial life

Yes, we believe Sun turns around the earth, and the earth turns around the Moon

Yes, we believe buffalo and giraffe are animals od Devil.

Ciao.

for my new religion I cut my hair

PS: Do you think I have to put our new religion on blogspot or in another place? Maybe in another place is mor mysterious and dogmatic?!?!

PS: What do you think if we explain the religion just in English? (for me, in the global language, Englissch, we will have more followers)

CIAO

2009-10-22T08:59:00.005+02:00

(Italo in Rome, october 2009, Photo by Margita)

Just to write something:
1) Finnish cakes were Pikku pulla

2) I will cook now Bramboraky (czech food, I think I will make a video :D)

3) My thriller on Prague will be a POST NOIR book (I don't know what it means but these days on the newspapers journalists said: it's the future of the books!?!?!?)

4) Jen, I will send a painting!
5) Desiree, could you prepare for me a jewish recipe?

6)Obama is good, quite good, Berlusconi is bad, but bad bad bad.

7) One of my ex girlfriends, this week called me just for chatting and said: "Do you remember whe you gave me as gift that expensive jewel?"

8) These days one exc girl-friend drunk a lot!

9) What do you think about to put AD SENSE in my blog? It's good or bad? It's stupid? it's what?

10) I will translate one of my books in English, I think the serious one. I found a good translator (she's American, she's a university professor, she's my aunt :D)

11) If you think scientology is stupid or is enough stupid or....even if you think it's great...well, this point is for you: my assistant Ghevavdo and me, we will make a new (I said new, ok?) religion. It's about new world, China, U.F.O. and Ciociaria (an italian region). If you believe in U.F.O. and in me, well stay tuned!!!

P.S.: ciao belle.

About my book

2009-10-17T10:16:00.005+02:00

So many posts I wrote and no one news about my book, if I write it, ecc.
Ok, firt of all: I have some blogs and sites (and friends from facebook know it) to write, I have to work sometimes as translator, so I didn't have much time for writing my book. But... I do it.
I can say it better: I'm writing THEM. Yes, because there are three projects:
the first one is a funny story in Sutri, about Sutri. (the idea I think it's nice, in the future I will tell you more).
The second one is still about Sutri, but is serious, it's a cultural-historical research.
The third one is a serious thriller, not in Italy but in my Prague. I say serious just to explain that it's not my usual style (humoristic, funny). I like to change, you know it.
Other news: I have to change the cover of my first book, Marguttino, but still I don't know what to put in the cover.
Food: I had time just to cook finnish cakes.
Soccer: a.s. Roma plays better than before, but still "we" have problems.
Family: two my brothers had birthday this week: so happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.
Love: still nothing.
Ciao.

OK, DON'T SMILE and DON'T ERASE MY CONTACT!

2009-10-10T11:58:00.008+02:00

Reading your blogs today (unfortunately this period I can only on saturday) I thought: why don't show my paintings I did? You know, I am a smart writer, a good chef, a nice (why just NICE, MARVELLOUS) man. I thought: why don't show other qualities.
I know: a lot of you dear friend, you are painters, professional painters, or just painter, but good ones. So don't erase now my contact, my blog, ok!?!?!?

Prague charles bridge

This is one of them. I did it when I lived in Prague. It was nice to go to the literarnì kavarna for a coffee, say hello to the beautiful waitresses, buy newspapers and go to another coffee, to paint my adorable Prague.
PS: WHEN I WAS THERE I WORKED TOO ahahahhahhahahah

PS2: No, it's not true. I never worked :(

Ps3: Yes, It was a joke I worked! ahahhahaha

Ps4: No, I don't sorry. :(

CIAOOO

INTERESTING (?!) INITIATIVE

2009-10-06T14:42:00.012+02:00

Ciao!

Today I would like to speak about an interesting (for me hahah) initiative I thought one week ago. I was searching some poems in internet when I visited a site where they offered to listen to audio books, so poetry ecc.

It's a nice idea. So I invited some friends, journalists, writers, employees, so each friend I know on internet to record their favourite classic poems. I will put these mp3 (or wave records, whatever) on my site, in a new page. I think also with these initiatives people can say: "Well, litterature is not bad, why don't buy or borrow a real book?"

So, if you, dear friends, want to partecipate, you can record your favourite classic poem (or prose, YOUR FAVOURITE PAGE!:D) send me the record and I will put your voice in my page.

The rules:
1) IMPORTANT: you can record what you want, poems, prose, BUT just pages without COPYRIGHTS (you know the rules, 70 years after author's death)

if you want you can also record your poems, your novels!

2) It's better if you save as.mp3. I can accept .wave as well, but......send me mp3!!!!!!

3) I know we aren't actors, but please a little effort to read well, with passion.

4) Don't ask for money, because it's a FREE INITIATIVE, I don't give you money. It's just a way to expand the desire of reading!

And also because: please I'm lazy, if you ask me for money I have to answer: NO, I don't give you money. But I'm too lazy, and I don't want even answer!

HERE a link with an example

So if you want to send me the records contact me! :D

ciao zio

2009-10-03T11:17:00.002+02:00

Tonight one of my uncles, Salvatore, from SIcily, dead. He was ill.
When I had to think about a nice uncle, a good person, well, in my head it was zio salvatore. Great clarinettist, great artisan, a good father and a sweet husband.
I visited his town just once in my life, when I visited Sicily with my mother. I remember the beautiful house, crowned by cherry trees, the view was amazing. In front of us, the vulcan Etna. His sweet eyes now are closed.... Ciao zio.

At the cemetery

2009-09-26T09:58:00.006+02:00

I didn't want to write it, but Petrea told she laughed about it so... I will write what happened at the cemetery.
It's september and my father tomb was dry, without flowers or grass. So I decided: it's time to sow. In the first time my brother and me we had a philosophical diatribe. "It would be nice to plant vegetables on a tomb?" I thought: for first, it's our tomb, it's my father tomb, so I CAN PLANT WHAT I WANT. And second: I think it's nice a tomb with something special on it.
BTW, we decide maybe is too special! SO, we sowed clover, a nice blanket of green clover.

So, Brenno (my brother's name) and I we went to the cemetery. It was early morning, so we were the first. We are not able to plant or to sow, so we just read the instructions on the clover box.
1) to dig

2) to eradicate bad plants

3) to sow

4) to press the ground to put deep the seed

5) to water the ground

So I made the step number 1, Brenno made the step number 2. Then I sowed.
For the step number 4, pressing the ground, I tried with the hoe, but it was to long so I began to walk on the ground. When I began to walk I see two old women come near us. So, the genius is in me woke up. I Called Brenno and I said him: Jump on the tomb, JUMP JUMP.

So when the old ladies were close to us, with me and my brother jumping on the tomb, I turned my face in the direction of my father photo and, always jumping, I said: You didn't dispose nothing to us, now you deserve this! ahahhahahahahahaahah The old women runned away, frightened ahahahahahhahahahahahahh.

PS: for those who don't know it (all of you) we have black humour and it was my father that teached me. I think in the sky, my father laughed a lot.

YES, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL IN THE FAMILY!

HAVE A NICE WEEK, BELLI!

2009-09-21T07:42:00.005+02:00

Today, monday, I'm happy. Why?
1) Yesterday a.s. Roma won 3-1 against Fiorentina.
2) I sowed my father garden and with my brother and we made our usual comic happening in the cemetery.
3) A librarian froma a nice village near Tuscany invited me for a conference in the village castle about my last book, IL MINISTERO.
4) I ate pizza and drunk beer.
5) I received a lot of compliments about my beautiful face, my wonderful face.

PS: curiosity. I wanted to write this blog just to show my work in progress, my person and my village. But now I'm curious. What do you think about Berlusconi? Do you think is a good politician, man, do you think he's sick?It's possible for you that a politician, a premier is so powerfull? It's possible that a politician has in his hands all the televisions? What do you think about his relationship with women?

35 years old people

2009-09-18T11:27:00.005+02:00

These days I'm too busy, I apologize.
I wanted to show you the beauty of my village, the beauty of people, MY BEAUTY, so incredibile!
But I couldn't.
So, I show you the video I made during the party, celebrating the 1974 people, in Sutri.
(p.s.: in this video I'm just in two photos, because.....I made the video! :( ahahhahaah)

Enjoy italian beautiful funny people! Ciao!

PS: for Desiree I must to write down the menù
ANTIPASTO:
home made salami and prosciutto
fried vegetables
PRIMO:
linguine with mushrooms sauce (cep)
ravioli with truffle
SECONDO:
grilled steak
baked potatoes
vegetables (I didn't eat or see, it's for kids, they have to grow healthy)
Dessert: SUPER CAKE
WINE: A LOT AND VERY GOOD
coffee
grappa

TODAY ANGRY

2009-09-14T15:22:00.003+02:00

I could write about the dinner "class 1974" we had Friday.

I could speak about my trips in the hospitals with my mother these days, for exams.

I could tell you about the sutri festival of BEANS, la sagra del fagiolo, we had 12 and 13 september.

But no.
Today I have to write about a GREAT oppurtunity I missed because of a friend of mine.
Julia ROberts is playing now in Italy. My friend told me, two weeks ago: "I know she's a caracter in your book. I know where she will be in Neapol, in which Hotel, and I can book for you a room. So you can meet Julia and if you want give her as gift the book!"
You know, great chance. I could take a picture with her. I love her (that's a reason Why she's in my book). But my friend told me: "Come the 14 of october in Neapol".
Julia today is in Neapol, 14 of september. My friend's mistake.
And I'm in Sutri. :(

Julia, You don't read my blog, but I can assure you a par of things:

1)in my book I described you as a sweet person.

2) Yes Julia. I will kill my friend. MORTACCI TUA CICCIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WRITING

2009-09-09T14:05:00.006+02:00

Today I wrote few pages. My novel is good, I think. I hope. I pray about it. But I don't know. Yes, I already wrote two books about life in the villages, and this book can be the conclusion of a trilogy, but I thought: And if I write the book and then I publish it in English. You know, I have some good translators in ENglish as friends. It can be a funny news.

I know it's hard to publish abroad (It's already impossible in Italy!!!!!) but with a self publishing company I can, I think. I have to think about it.

Ciao belli.

PS: today I will make croissants, for the first time.

PS2: at home we have two new friends, two fishes: Tequila and Bonetti.

Ps3: Am I still beautiful?

sutri fashion

2009-09-07T15:19:00.006+02:00

Sutri, the ancient city is always a good location.
Great italian and international filmakers chosen Sutri.
To write down just a couple of names:
The year of the gun, with a young Sharon Stone. in 1991.
And this year NINE, from the musical. In Sutri shot the beautiful Nicole Kidman and the wonderful Penelope Cruz.
In my village when my father was mayor, a group of italian actors wanted to do a close community, something intellectual. But my father said no! He was always against!!!!!
Every year in our streets and piazzas they shoot tv promos or tv serials.
It's nice, isn't it.
I put now one video from the marvellous 90's. It's Belinda Carlisle; in the second 51 you can see my uncle PEPPE with glasses. A perfect ACTOR! CIAO.

From Sutri to Viterbo with the scooter

2009-09-01T15:48:00.010+02:00

Today I had to bring my scooter to Viterbo, an old (medieval) and beautiful town. Just for the summer the scooter is with me, during the year he has to work in town!

So I had to go with my scooter for 30 km (I know it's a little trip, but not for my scooter!). There are two way to get to Viterbo: The Cassia way 33km, or the Cimina (26km, but in mountain). I chose the Cimina, more beautiful. When I made 8 km the petrol gauge screamed: I've no Petrol, you poor bastard! But, in that street there isn't a petrol pump! SO I prayed Santa DOlcissima (the patron saint of Sutri) to get to Viterbo without problems. I arrived without problems (grazie Santa Dolci'). But when I arrived at the office (with this scooter during the year my brother and his wife go through Viterbo easily) my brother prayed to me (Dolcì, we are competing): Please Italo, I've a lot of work and I can't do it lonely. So I stayed in Viterbo for two hours to help Timo.
At 12h00 I went to the bus stop. Near the bus stop in Viterbo is Porta Romana (Romana Gate) a medieval Gate, where starts the 3rd of September the Santa Rosa Procession (Saint Rosa is the patron Saint of Viterbo). 100 men carry on the shoulders a 30 mt tower. It's an old and beautiful rite, you know the lights of the tower go in the night through the streets.
Nice.
PS: today, after the weeks without running, I made 5 km just to sweat :D

Happy birthday mamma

2009-08-31T16:33:00.005+02:00

Buon compleanno mamma! Yes!!!!!
August, 31, 1941 born in Helsinki the sweetese, craziest italian mother. She's not typical italian Mamma just because she is FInnish. And maybe because of this, she is the best mamma! :D
This week I had bad news about her health. But today, I'm happy for her. So I bought a cake, a wonderful plant with flowers and I wish her the best.
When I say: "Mamma, you have to find a new love, she becomes angry".
I say every day: "Marry the baron, marry the baron" but mamma says "BLEAH! I don't want to work! I worked a lot with your father!"

I like when we discuss. It's funny.

Mamma, I wish you all the best.
Tanti auguri a te

Tanti auguri a teeeeee

tanti auguuuuuuuuuuuuuriii mamma bellaaaa

tanti auguriiiiiiiiiiiiii aaaaaaaaaaaa teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(e la torta a me!)

And the song is not a birthday song but her favourite song from her childhood!

Ciao.

FORZA ROMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2009-08-28T10:05:00.010+02:00

The third part of paradise is now in this post. I wrote about the wonderful women, I wrote about delicious food. Today I want to write about calcio, football, soccer. a.s. Roma, one of my religions. I follow different religions because when I will be in Paradise I will certain to have nice places, like for football matches.

Yesterday evening was the match Roma-Kosice, an In or Out match, for Europa League. In the first round the result was 3-3.
I watched at the match at home, with my brothers. We are all fans of a.s. Roma.

We ate before, to not disturb the watching (pasta al sugo and tomato salad).

When ref whistled we just scream: Go Roma go!

Usually we are a little bit noisy (if you can say Bombay traffic is little bit noisy), we aren't able to speak in a whisper. When we speak at the mobile we scream, when we take showers we sing loudly, when we get angry on the city traffic ...well, you know.

Usually it's not a problem, but...

We live in a building with a lot of quiet old neighbours. And the other people are fans of Lazio (the second team in Rome, THE SECOND).

I knew it, but I thought: if Roma scores just a goal it's ok, maybe noone gets angry.

The final result was 7-1 for us so.... ahahhahahahhahahahahah. Sorry Neighbours!

First 7 minutes we scored 3 goals. So, three goals, three jumps on the floor for three men (and one of those, Furio, is 100 kg).

Screams, bad words (yes, sometimes it happens :D), stadium songs. I began to drink my beer, but Roma scored other two goals. At the fifth goal I jumped and screamed, but I forgot I was drinking my Peroni, so Peroni from my mouth flown to the new LCD TV. My brother B, he payed the tv, Screamed not "FORZA ROMA" or "GOAAAL" but "The TV, you F******NG BASTARD". The old neighbour, she lives upstairs, began to scream on the balcony.
"Signora C." B said happy "Roma wins 5-1"

"I don't care! My heart is so infirm. Do you want to kill me?"
"Sorry signora C., We don't scream anymore" For the fifteen minutes break I thought.

Actually in the second half match was calmer. So I think la signora C., went to the bed to sleep, and the other neighbours too.

BUT.... When The magic norwegian Riise scored the 6 goal A HUGE SCREAM went out from our mouths but immediately Brenno said to us, freighten: "JESUS, la signora C.". Is she dead?

Maybe, she didn't get angry she didn't beat with the broom handle. So Brenno went to the balcony and screamed: "SIgnora C.!". She wasn't dead but ANGRY! " Why you F*******NG STUPID SON OF A B*****H you scream? I was asleep!!!!!!"

Ahhahahahhahahhahahahhah Me and My brother Furio began to laugh! My poor Brenno! He had just the time to come back and scream for the last goal of our Captain TOTTI!

7-1, Roma is on Europa League, Maria is alive, LCD TV is ok. Perfect evening.

SUTRI, my Village

2009-08-27T12:20:00.013+02:00

(Mithreum and part of Necropolis)

(the Cathedral)

(Charlemagne's Castle)

Always I write about my village, but never wrote its name, Sutri (in Latin SUTRIUM). My little village, full of funny and crazy people, is full of history as well. So with the today's post I want to speak about the incredibile history.

Sutri isn't a village. It's actually a City! A pope named Antichissimà città! Such an honour. But it's true. It's ancient. Etruscan village (you can see a beautiful necropolis, even if it's not beautiful to see a city of dead people-necropolis). A legend says The God Saturn built it. Maybe the name is from SaTuRn. It's too long to write a lesson (you know, for italian students I'm the Professore, but a teacher a little crazy) so I’ll write down some dates or important events happened in Sutri.

IV b.C. Sutri in the "orbit", the field of Rome. Sutri is named Porta dell'Etruria, Gate of Etruscan Lands.

I b.C. Ceasar came to Sutri to buy boots!!!?! (someone says the name Sutri, from Sutera, shoes)

A legend says Pontius Pilatus was born in Sutri.

728 Sutri is the first village the Pope owned. With the donation of Sutri begins the Power and the richness of the Vatican (Incredible isn't it).

800 Charlemagne had to be crowned in Rome by the Pope as emperor. He stayed in Sutri few days and here he met his nephew ROland (which born in Sutri, and you can visit the cave where he born)
In 1046 the emperor Henri III made a council in Sutri and a German bishop was elected Pope, CLEMENS the Second. In the world just in three cities popes were elected, and one is Sutri.
In 1111 another emperor Henry V and Pasqualis II the pope met here and came to an agreement known as Iuramentum Sutrinum.
In 1155 another BIG meeting, Came to Sutri the pope Adrian IV and the great Emperor Frederick Barbarossa (Red Beard).
Important sites to see here: the Amphiteatre, rare because ENTIRELY dug into the tufa rock.
Mitreum, the temple of God Mithra (a prechristian GOD), in XII cent. became a Christian Church.
The Cathedral, and its old crypt.
The Castle of Charlemagne (400 years after Charlemagne Died, someone Built this Castle, I know the legend is wrong but maybe the Charlemagne Ghost built it).
And dozens of Churches.
I can write dozens and dozens of these facts but I think it's enough to explain that my village is full of history and culture.
Now, I can tell you the most important daily news: I bought a delicious white pizza (Pizza from the bakery) from Lia. 1euro. Delicious. Then I went with my brother to see my aunt Filomena.
She told me a lot of interesting things about life, tomatoes and zucchini. And her secret about Panzanella (what is it? Desiree knows. SHe knows everything). And prepared us a coffee. Now I can continue my novel. Ciao Belli.
PS: tonight A.S. ROMA plays against Kosice, for Europa League (SOCCER), in or out. FORZA ROMA.

PS2_: A Special thanks to the sweet Perugina for helping me, Grazie! :D

Work in progress

2009-08-25T13:56:00.007+02:00

With pains and doubts (writer without doubts is like a man without..doubts) I'm writing my novel.
I think it's funny, interesting.
The main character is crazy (maybe?) living in my village.
Detective? Drama? Funny? Love? All of these things I hope.
Today's post is little because I don't want my ideas fly away!
But I wanted to say "Buongiorno a tutti" to all of you.

PS: Today I received a gift, from my sweet old Finnish aunt, living in Vancouver, Canada.
She writes: The sun in Italy is too hot and maybe if you haven't nothing on your head you can become insane!

Thank you my aunt... too late.
(writers have to be serious)

TODAY'S FRIENDS

2009-08-24T16:45:00.010+02:00

(some of our books)

(my office today)

It's annoying when I can't do anything.

No running, no swimming. I can just translate or read.

Because of my downfall on the floor I'm a little bit ache all over.

So today I will stay, maybe all day at home.

Translating (I must finish a translation for a friend, architecture), reading books (in my house is the only thing you can find without problems, we have them everywhere) or, if I will need excitement, I will be in the balcony to see how hot peppers are growing.

I wanted to take a picture of my black & blues, but:

1) it's disgusting a little bit

2) the light was not so good and my brother said: "If you want I help you, I can kick your legs so black & blues will be more visible on the photos"

(it seems I'm writing some stupid things on facebook but isn't true, I'm writing A LOT of stupid things on facebook)

When I'm with my notebook all day, I do somo self promos for my books, on internet.

And I do also a play I like very much. I'm promoting (you know, I haven't a literary agent) my last book, but not to editors.

I often, when I don't know what to do, send an email with a resumé of my book to electricians, butchers, farmers and I ask for comments, advices, whatever.
Mails are SERIOUS, not funny!!!!!

It's important to know what think your readers (future readers too)!!!!
I'm a "bestseller" between employees, but waitresses too judge positively my book.

For a farmer: "Book is good, but.... better if you help me with cows, you'll be more successfull".

Now I have to go dear friends, my important daily duties: I have to go to the balcony to see how rosemary is growing. Ciao.

Week end. And the summer is gone

2009-08-23T19:17:00.021+02:00

On Saturday we went to Rome to close officially the summer with an icecream. We had to do it.

I like to go to Rome for a walk. Even if it's 40°C. On Saturday we went to the Colosseum. I like when the Centurions offer to the tourists to make photos. They are funny, they scream, they can be rude when with their swords they act to kill you if you don't want to take pictures.

In the Colosseum I like three things:

1) the smell of the history

2) the cats (they are the owners of the theatre)

3) the strangers (actually the feminine side of the world "Tourists")

To be lazy and to sit in front of the Coloseum is a human right, and it's better than a lesson of history or sociology at the university.

In the evening we came back to my village (my friends dogs needed food and time for playing) and after a dinner at home we went to Bracciano lake for a beer and another ice cream (in Bracciano the ice cream was better than in Rome).

(the beautiful Stella)

In the lakeshore, when stars illuminate the waves (too romantic?) I saw two beautiful eyes. Sometimes you see a girl and you think: wow nice girl!
Sometimes you see the girl looks at you and you think: Wow! It's time to be funny and interesting and try to speak with her.

And sometimes, like yesterday night, that eyes make beat so fast your heart that you think it's impossible God gave this beautiful gift to te world. Usually I'm one of that men he tries to speak, to be charming, interesting, funny. Usually. But yesterday that girl had so beautiful eyes, I was petrified!?!?!?!? My friend Daniele said: "You? The papousek (parrot in Czech)? Oh no, maybe you are old!".

Today morning we went to the sea, to close officialy the summer season with the beach.
(You know, we are crazy in our little village, but we take seriously the life, we do all OFFICIALLY).

Nobody was on the beach, friends were tired and me..... ill!!!!!!
My legs hurted (I have big black & blues behind the legs) and my back hurted horribly (I've been four hours on the beach towel groaning.
And reading sport newspaper (today begin the soccer!!!!!!!!! FOrza Roma!).
(summer is gone)

At 15h00 the pains were so strong! So we went home.
I don't speak with a beautiful girl, I don't drink wine (not so much), I have pains.
Today, august,23, I can say: I'm OFFICIALLY OLD!

yesterday Dinner in a rural home

2009-08-22T12:09:00.012+02:00

After a hard working day in Rome (my friend moves from Rome to my village so we two had to take all!!!!!!!) I went with my two brothers and my friend Daniele to the Maurizio's rural home for a dinner.

Nice night. In the village is hot (39°C) but there (4km from the village, on the hill) it was a cool wind. No noises. Well, just my brother screams (he likes to speak loudly, or maybe he's deaf I don't know). PROS AND CONS in these dinners: CONS: HORNETS (A lot!) and spiders!

PROS: all the rest!!!

We went thereat 19h (before I've been a perfect guide for my friend Daniele from Rome, through my village streets and monuments). Maurizio prepared the fireplace (you maybe say: in AUguST, 39°C, you prepare the fireplace? YES! MEAT NEEDS FIRE! (I'm so philosophical today!)

Daniele bought two bottles of chianti, we had our Nero d'Avola.

For Antipasti:

San Marzano tomatoes, bruschette (toasted bread) twith olive oil and salt, and with tuna sauce.

Then: pasta with bolognese sauce, hot (for this we had to drink our wine).

Between Pasa and meat, THE FIRST HORNETS ATTACK! I didn't took pictures about my downfall on the floor and my black and blues on my legs ahahahahahah.

We won!

Then, wine and meat: my village pork sausages (DELICIOUS) cooked salami (Delicatesse) and grilled bacon. The salad was good but, you know, meat wa better.

The SECOND ATTACK: the relatives of the killed hornet came! Another battle! We won again! YES!

After meat and salad, some cheeses from Latium, and a little walk on the night to see the stars and to tittle tattle about the village people. My friend Daniele laughed all the night. He thinks we all are crazy. It's not true...maybe. Whe we came inside, a huge spider was waiting for us! BRRRRRR!

A, I forgot we ate two pies but my brother B forgot the melon at home so Maurizio got angry (WHy you forgot it? ANd Now Daniele drove for 60km and he can't eat our melon!!!!!!!!)

Nice night.

PS: I NEED A CAMERA!!!! the cell phone photos are ugly!

PS2: Why we buy always dozens of wine bottles, saying WE ARE MEN, and then we drink just three bottles in five persons?

april 6, 2009, 3h32, earthquake in Italy

2009-08-20T20:42:00.011+02:00

(the main street in L'Aquila, four months after)

(Coppito police military station, seat of the last G8)

(Paganica, the centre is closed)

(Paganica, Church)

(Paganica)

(L'Aquila)

(L'Aquila, camp)

Today no funny post.

Today we went to the region of Abruzzo, to L'Aquila, the city where it was a big earthquake in April. After four months, thousands and thousand of people (someone says 80.000) live in these camps. It's now horribly hot, it's impossible to live there. And the have the fear of the winter (If in summer it's horribly hot, in winter there is the snow, and it's very cold). Each day people are in front to go to the toilets, in front to eat. They live in front for something.

I saw an incredible number, huge, of empty buildings. And tents.

Prime minister Berlusconi promised for september apartements with "Champagne and cake in the fridge". Berlusconi, try to give them Apartments, and jobs. And future, not f***ing Champagne!

Just one funny thing: When in a check point (L'aquila center is closed) I spoke with a soldier, I spoke so aulic and serious he thought I'm a politician or a specialist and he wanted to let us pass inside. A young italian soldier, with sweet smile and 2 kg of gel on the hair.
"No, no, my soldier" I said "thank you".

I hope this winter alla people leave tents. I wish to them all the best. To the people of Abruzzo, and to you, dear friends.

The song is "DOMANI" united artists for Abruzzo, all the best singers in Italy.

Pigs, lake and whistling

2009-08-19T12:34:00.019+02:00

(I like green grass)

These days nobody works. And if nobody works, nobody asks me for translations in Czech or French. It's stupid to think too much about work.

I know it's just this period.

Always we have to employ well our time. Working, writing a book, running; and also having fun and relax.

Today I looked at my mails: no translations. So I decided to go to the lake with my brother. It's relaxing there, on Vico Lake.

We went with the scooter. I prefer go with scooters. They are funny, are better than cars because of the fresh air, and you can prak them everywhere :)

On the lake I usually don't swim. I prefere to read or sleep.

Todat I took an interesting book about Iraq, "L'altro Islam"; my brother Brenno took another interesting book "The best Mickey Mouse stories". Yes, in our family culture is in the first place.

At 10 my attention was for a dozen of pigs they gleefully danced in the street between cars!

At 10h05 my attention returned to a wonderful Spanish woman who plunged into the lake. How are beautiful Spanish girls!

At 11h my brother Timo called me from Sicily, for an update about his holidays (he will be two weeks in Sciacca, near the wonderful Agrigento): "Italo, I found a restaurant where I can eat all fish I want for only 10 euros. And the owner of the restaurant, a sweet Sicilian woman, gave us for free a delicious cassata"

How are passionate and nice Sicilian girls.

At 12h another call. From my mother" FIGLI MIEI (my sons) come home!!! Insalata di riso (rice salad) is ready". How are sweet finnish moms!

SO we came back to our village, singing on the scooter, saying good-bye to a group of blonde Deutsch tourists, whistling with joy to the sky.
PS: How are beautiful Italian, German, Finnish, American, English, Arabian, Brazilian, Czech........................................................................women!

Sea Beach relax, and now the writer has some ideas

2009-08-17T14:10:00.008+02:00

("Wake up, bello!" Said miss mosquito, and she kissed my legs)

After Rome (40°C) I needed the sea. I woke up at 6 because of a lovely enchanting, charming mosquito "Zanzara ti adoro!". So yesterday we drove to Orbetello. Hot day in the highway. Air-conditioning was broken. But the trip wasn't bad. Radio, a par of bullshits about my friends from Sutri (I didn't know my old friend had a relationship with a married woman; the same woman who bought an house in the outskirts of Rome, where my ex teacher had a relationship with the wife of my cousin, the same cousin that robbed an old car in Viterbo, where a friend of mine's uncle is now in jail because is... I can't say all "TRUTHS" I heard in two hours about my village).

In Vetralla, a little village we had breakfast in a bar, cappuccino and croissant with chocolate.

The beach wasn't clean in Orbetello. Strange, but the water was cool and clean. I teached to my friend M how to swimm (Now he wants to pay me a dinner, fish and white wine). I deserve it: it's impossible to teach to swim to one adult, nervous and heavy guy.

After the lunch on the beach (Sorry Desiree, I can't show you Tuscan food :)) I Passed two hours in peace, sleeping or reading an interesting book of a new author, a friend of mine. Then, after the beach, it was pizza time in Orbetello. We ate a pizza alla diavola, with two lovely girls from Neaples. ANd after pizza, why not a delicious ice cream (cocco and strawberry)?

Today I learned a lot about people from my little village (not all is true, maybe nothing, but now I have some of delicious and funny stories for my book. I hope nobody will take offence :D)

Nice sunday. Ciao belli.

Ferragosto in Rome

2009-08-15T21:06:00.012+02:00

Today no sea. This morning , we woke up at 9, too late for the sea (we usually drive for 120 km to Tuscany, and in the italian traffic is really too late). So we went for a drink a for reading newspapers to the Vico Lake, 2 hours with peace, caffès and some funny old families (with their pasta al forno, lasagne chicken, peperoni).

At 12.30 lunch with mamma. They had to prepare the typical ferragosto lunch (Lasagne, chicken and peperoni) but she made a delicious pizza. At 14h me my brother and my friend we went to Rome, to visit the città eterna like tourists. It was hot (39°C), but a nice sky and nice people. We went to Piazza di Spagna (parking in the nearby, under Villa Borghese Park), then Fontana di Trevi, the most beautiful fountain in the world (for me :D). Then an ice cream in Piazza del Pantheon, wonderful square when in the '60s the most successfull italian directors and screenplayers met and invented the commedia all'italiana, typical italian movie.

In a bar the waitresses thought I was a stranger, so i played the STRANGER. They talked about me in italian, even if one was from Morocco and the other two were albanians. "He's cute" "No, he seems so serious" "I think he's gay". After Pantheon we went to Piazza Navona, wonderful, Bernini, Borromini, history, culture... and two nice girls from Connecticut. It's so sad that I don't speak English well, because I could now be a boyfriend of a funny and nice blondie girl from Connecticut. After Piazza Navona, we went to Campo de Fiori, in Trastevere. There I played the singer. My friends don't want to go with me when I sing, SHAME ahahahah. But it's my "illness", when I feel that I have to sing for a girl, I do it. Today the girl was actually a mother from East Europe. She was little, older than me, but very funny. Her daughter danced around. I had the chance to play when a musician played in the square.
Nice funny mother, ciao. I hope all the best for you and for your daughter.

Then my friend said: "I pay you some beers if you are my guide. You have to speak about palaces, if you know everything I pay you 5 beers". :D

I got just two, smply because I didn't want that he spend so much (Rome is wonderful but a little expensive in the centre). I like speak about palaces, history, culture, so if you come to Rome I will a perfect guide (Don't forget beers, or lemonades).

FERRAGOSTO

2009-08-14T16:23:00.007+02:00

(Wild beach)

(wild friend's shoulders)

(my stupid face. PS: I'm handsome, one of the 349 most beautiful guys in Italy, I don't know why my cell phone make me so ugly!)

Tomorrow will be Mid August Holiday, FERRAGOSTO, a typical italian holiday.

The name Ferragosto, from the latin Feriae Augusti (the rest of August, the emperor).

Usually during Ferragosto nobody works (it's impossible to find an electrician, a plumber or an open store in the city). All people go to the sea, or lake, or visit historical towns (Just crazy people: with 40°C).

We MUST TO RELAX. FOr this relax millions of people will be tomorrow morning in their cars, on the highways, bitching and having a fight with other drivers, and dying because you will immobile in the car and you want to piss or drink something, but no open bars, no toilettes). It will be a f***ing nice Relaxing day!
And I will do it! We will go to Tuscany, SEA, SPECIAL FOOD, DELICIOUS WINE. And I hope I will not fight all day with other people.

PS: Buon ferragosto belli!

PLEASE! DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-13T11:02:00.010+02:00

There two types of writers, the damned, who writes during the night with his sigarettes and whisky, and the morning writer, who needs the quiet of the morning, to see the sun, to feel the cool air.

I'm the morning writer.
For me the most beautiful working day begins with a song from a bird on the window, the wind on the pine trees, in front of my house, the sing of the caffettiera and the smell of a good coffee.

The perfect start.

But... yes but. We are in Italy.

And even if I live in a little village, even if I'm in the outskirts of this little village peace and perfect atmosphere can disappear if your mother, a finnish mother but a woman who's lived in Italy for 50 years, cook sauce and grills peperoni red peppers at 6 in the morning!

All food, even the most delicious in the world, when you wake up, STINK!

PLEASE MAMMA, DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

Arrivederci Roma

2009-08-11T17:20:00.004+02:00

(photo by my friend Radovan)

Yesterday, in the evening I had to work as translator (Czech-Italian) in Rome, for an architect.

It is not easy to work there.
If I have to walk and translate my eyes fly on the Colosseum, on Piazza di Spagna, palaces, fountains.
Too hard.
The rendez vous for the translation was in a commercial area, in the outskirts. So, I thought: No problems, no historical places, no roman charme.
But... I forgot that managers can be women too!
The Czech Manager was a beautiful woman, with enchanting eyes and a sweet moravian accent. We spoke an half hour about Brno and Moravia, where I lived.

Even if the lady was so charming I worked well.
After the translation, me, the architect and the Czech group, we went to Castel Sant'Angelo garden for a beer.
Nice evening.
Behind me Castel Sant'Angelo, on the left the river Tevere, and in front of me the beatiful and sweet moravian smile.

Nice evening, thank you for the job.

PS: you forgot to pay me, it's 100 euros bello!

2009-08-10T12:58:00.009+02:00

Today, you know... the day started as always: coffee (Well, not coffe, caffè! There is a great difference, cultural difference, but it will be for a next post), and running.
When I came back, I found my mother praying for some little home works.
When I finished a ring in the house: our old neighbour came to visit mamma.
"Oh Italo, you are so sweet to help your mother"

When someone tells me that I enjoy the moment:
"Well, it's true. I'm a good son, a nice person!"
"Yes, you are Italo. And....can you help me too? I need a little help"
"Well, of course" I said.

The neighbour's little help was: to clean a warehouse, to trash hundreds of old paper boxes, bottles of tomato sauce gone bad, newspapers.
Two hours in the dust.
When I finished, the sweet neighbour offered me a bottle of water.
"I made a good work, huh?" I said proud.
"Yes, Italo. And when you'll clean the second warehouse the work will be perfect"

What? Who? Why???????????????????????????????

For the second one I cleaned for an hour: tidy up firewood is not so hard, the problem is when you find some mouses in your hands.

All trash trashed. The warehouses are now clean.
Yes, I could'nt translate today, so no euros for me.
But the neighbour gave me as gift some pomodori, tomatoes, zucchini and cucumbers from her garden. Delicious!

Ps: from today: Dear Neighbours, I'm not KIND, I never help my mother, I'm mad!!!!!!!!

PS2: I can be kind if you introduce me to your grandaughter or your daughter, so adult but less than 70!

PS3: I was kidding, no presentations (if I will be son-in-law, not even pomodori and zucchini for my works)

Like a tale

2009-08-08T10:42:00.003+02:00

Today I had to go to the sea.

But when I woke up radio said: "This will be the worst week end on the highways: to many cars!"

I opened the window and the sun suggested me to go for a running.

People were serene and happy, the wind was cool, the dogs in villa piperno slept: beautiful running.

When I arrived at the end of the course, behind the amphiteatre, I felt I must to stop there and live a little that atmposphere in that place.

I took the pictures with my cell phone.

I know, it's impossible to understand a feeling from a photo, but I can say it was wonderful, like a tale.

All was quiet, beautiful, the perfumes from the country, the sound of the river mixed with the voices of cows, birds and the trees.

In a historic place.

So nice.

:) it means (oh mamma I'm happy!)

2009-08-05T13:39:00.003+02:00

Yesterday Silvia, the past, the heart, young love.

I've been happy with her.

Now, feelings are changed. I don't know.

But it's sure that I'm happy to speak with her again.

She's a sweet and funny friend.

Today, after the daily running, after a quarrel with a neighbour (he doesn't understand that garbage bins for collection of item for recykling is not, once I put the rubbish outside the bin, once near the bin, once “in my mind I would but I'm too lazy so today I leave it just on the stairs), I decided that also my stomach has to be happy like my heart after seeing Silvia.

So I made PIZZA!!!!!

I like very much food, I like eat and cook it.

So, first pizza was a normal Margherita. Delicious.
The second one, a superbe pizza with potatoes, my favourite one.

Pizza, beer, and a little jazz with Stacey Kent.

Outside sun and wind play together like children, Mamma is ok, my friend told me he has a new job.

All is perfect.

And that's the perfect atmosphere to begin my work with my book.

But slowly, I want to taste this atmosphere a little more, on my balcony, me, my pizza and Stacey.

it beats!

2009-08-04T14:38:00.004+02:00

First of all: Dear readers, my friends. I lived abroad many years. I lived in Belgium and in Czech republic.

And also when I lived in Italy I left my village for the university.

For many many years I didn't live here. I forgot places, sounds, perfumes, faces.

Now, day by day, I see again old friends, eat food I loved.

So:
yesterday I was on the piazza (I needed to play at superenalotto, 110 millions euros come to me!!!!), the bells rang 12, the sun kissed all the people, kids were happy with the ball and the ice creams.

From the arc I see to come a girl, a beautiful girl, the most beautiful girl I ever seen.

When I focused her face my heart gone crazy and began to beat very fast: my ex girlfriend, Silvia. 20 years ago I was so fallen in love. We met on the beach in Tuscany the first time.
Now, her face is still young, sweet, beautiful.

"Ciao Italo, so many years!"
"Ciao Bella" I couldn't say anything else, also because it's true: she's so Bella!
"People said you were in Prague"
"Yes. But now I'm here"
She smiled and said with a sweet voice:"It's my lucky day". She kissed me and went buy pizza; and my heart flown away.

Maybe I have to write a chapter about how Silvia's eyes are so romantic.

PS: for those who find my heart in the sky, please contact me. I need it!

Mare profumo di mare

2009-08-03T14:48:00.007+02:00

(picture from friend's cell)

That's the title of the Love Boat Theme (the italian version).
Yesterday we went to the sea, in Tuscany.

During the trip I decided that we all had to improve the knowledge of the american film and fiction themes. So, two hours with the songs from: Love Boat, Super Vicky, Arnold, A Team, The Chips. Amazing! I grew up with these songs.
Even if the post title is Mare profumo di mare, I decided (the two friends are not intellectually prepared to judge this) that the best theme is : Movin on up, from the Jefferson.

On the beach little problems with a beautiful woman.

She didn't know I am a beautiful writer, so I had to show my best performance with the ball.

We played soccer and I was like a Harlem globe trotter.

How men are stupid when they want to conquer a woman on the beach!

Nice news of sunday: Ate strawberries, my strawberries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad news of sunday: one publisher contacted me for my new book but.... HE WANTED MONEY from me!?!?!?!?

Hard choice

2009-07-31T13:41:00.002+02:00

Hard choice
What I have to do with my book?
I don't know.
I dont' know if to write a fiction, invente a story with real people and locations, changing names, or write something like Spoon River Anthology.

It's hard because if I write a story, my village and my fellow countrymen will not the protagonists. But if I write for each crazy person an apitaph or an event about him, well, I will receive a par of claims AND hundreds of slaps and punches. HARD Choice.
Well, write down the pros and the cons for each hypothesis.

Invented story:
PROS
I can say all the truth and don't receive reportings from the police.
I'm not bind to the truth strictly and I can change something; like for example when I was 11, my love with Asia. I can write: I left her!!! Yes!
CONS: the book can be funny but will be the thitrd humorous book about italian villages, without that uniqueness I would like to write.
Spoon river Anthology like:
PROS: I can write an epic poem about my village, I can be the new Omero and sing the new Troy and the new Odissey.
CONS: if I write something like this, I will not alive in time to spend the first euros after the publication.
The non so little thing: my protagonists are true and aren't died.
Uhm hard choice, I have to think about it. But I can't think with empty stomach.
Today I cooked wonderful spaghetti with seafood sauce.

And now, after this post, I deserve a little relax. The lake is waiting me. Ciao.

Mamma

2009-07-30T17:01:00.004+02:00

(my sweet mamma when she lost her piano book,ahahahahah she's so nice!)

Yesterday no book, no funny faces from my village, no running.

Reality came, rude.
My mamma, an adorable finnish woman who loved a really italian lover, my dad, didn't feel well.

An incredible reader (eat-book person): she can read each day three books, either in finnish or in french or in English or German.

Even if she makes me laugh every single moment (her humour is so fine, so perfect: the timing, the culture, everything), yesterday gave me another moment of fear.

So I've been with her in two hospitals, one in the morning, the other one, more specialized in the afternoon

(She said: If I have to be sick, I have to do it well: one hospital isn't enough!).

The doctors took her, and for six hours I didn't know what happens.

I just spoke with a stupid nurse who said: I'm afraid is serious, I'm afraid is so serious.

And she told me this sentence, playing solitaire with its computer.

At 9 I see my mother go out of the hospital with a great smile. It was a little thing, nothing serious.

No, running, no funny faces; but the food yes.

At midnight, when we came at home I prepared a super pasta fresca, with tomatoes, olives, basil and yellow pepper.

My sweet crazy mamma, I love you.

Oh, the past!

2009-07-28T13:16:00.010+02:00

(today Piazza del comune was wonderful)

Yesterday night I wrote ten pages.

The first ten pages. There isn't the incipit of the book. It's just some flashbacks, description of old people, crazy men with adorable and insane (and illegal too) hobbies; and also two or three places that unfortunately changed for ever.

Like the movie theatre.

Now at its place there is a parking. But when the theatre was there, oh: it wast the kingdom od the kids, our kingdom.

The tickets were very cheap because it was a “B movie” theatre.

I saw there all Bud Spencer movies and all Bombolo movies. Before to go inside we played football, in our field, beetween the theatre and the houses.

We could play seven hours each day.

When we kicked the ball on the roof of the theatre, only two guys could go to take it. Maurizio the Torch (the father nickname) and Fabrizio beautiful eyes (he had the deepest and biggest glasses in my village).

They were able to clamber there and when they were on the roof they felt as kings.

And I was so envious!
But when we kicked the ball on the terraces, or on the balconies, well nobody was so brave. Not because of the height, not because of the police.

It was more horrible: you could be face to face with one italian casalinga, one furious old MAMMA that could beat you: “You son of...., you dirty my white sheets with your ball. Son of a …..., you and your father, and your grand father and..” and she could continue until she finished our relatives.

Oh, the old cinema in Piazza Pisanelli, or how we say, la Ripa.
Too melancholic, I need smile and energy and for this:
Pomodori, mozzarella, basil salt and olive oil. Ciao.

The idea!

2009-07-27T11:22:00.005+02:00

Mornings are for running.

I like it. Silence, cool air, the urban noises don't disturb the sound of nature yet.

Today, as always, I started at 7 o clock.

When I arrived to Villa Piperno resort I met with three guard dogs in the street.

Usually they have to stay INSIDE the villas but today they wanted (I think) to converse with me face to face (maybe it wasn't a good idea to make fun of them in the past).

So I ran very fast. The dogs were faster, and my only chance was to clamber over a portcullis. The scene is not so heroic I know, but... the dogs have theets so big!
When the owner of the house (and the portcullis too) heard the dogs, he looked out of the window and screamed: “Who are you? I'll call the police!”
“Why Monsieur La Forge?”

I recognised him and that villa. He's an old French man who hates the world. Not, maybe the universe.

“It's me, Italo. You don't remember when I was fiancé with your daughter?”
“Ah oui, c'est toi, connard fils de … “ I can't continue and I can't translate.
The dogs stopped to bark.

I think for them was more funny to watch at the argy-bargy between me and that old man in a satin blue pajamas.
When Madame La Forge listened to his husband came to the window.
“Frederic, open the portcullis, you see the dogs. They are dangerous!”

I always adored that woman.
So, I didn't run my 10 km today but I had a nice breakfast with miss La Forge.
In twenty minutes (that's enough to drink 3 coffees) Miss La Forge and me we remembered when I was child and I was running around Sutri with my friends, in the narrow streets, playing football, screaming and enjoying life.

Since I was 17 I lived in Viterbo and Rome and since I was 26 I lived abroad (France, Belgium, Czech republic) and I forgot how was funny nice romantic my sweet village.

So I think my new book will a romantic poem, a love declaration to my village.

I would like to describe the stories, the faces, the crazy people, the places I loved.

Ciao.

PS: time for pizza and mortadella.

2009-07-25T11:35:00.002+02:00

Today, saturday, my day begins with a 10 km running around the village.

I started at 7.20 but it was late because it's a hot day!

I told: Buongiorno to my cousin's small donkeys (can be happier a donkey having an entire villa to live?), then I sharply conversed with all the guard dogs in Villa Piperno resort closed in the villas (when the gates are opened it's more difficult to have a polite conversation with them).

At 8,20 I finished running. The “arrive” is in front of the ancient amphiteatre.

Suggesting panorama: green park, the Etruscan necropolis, the old trees, the bean plants rows of Mister Giuseppe, a friend of mine, who today was wearing a perfect Panama. Perfect for him.

Nice place. Here I usually do stretching, and admire the old bishop castle. It's a pity that nobody can go inside, it's dangerous.

After the running, the shower and... my coffee, I had to visit the garden center (I found a finnish receipt and I would like to cook fish) to find a plant of dill.

I know, you can say: why you don't buy dry dill? Well, the answer is easy: because fresh is better!

The garden centre was like a desert, or like a Sergio Leone western movie.

Silent atmosphere, the noise of the wind, some cactus near the entry. The owner maybe forgot the gate open and went away.

Like a guard just a cat, sleeping.

No dill, no fish tonight.

The rest of the warrior

2009-07-24T15:55:00.005+02:00

Yesterday I had a break, I now know that the story will humourous, that's enough for the week!I worked hard for this book.

I needed relax.
So, I went to the village street market, on Thursdays in Piazza Pisanelli (for fresh vegetable lovers).
I would like to eat for lunch a fresch and coloured salade.

But simply. So I bought two cucumbers, two onions (for the pomodori, no problems: Maurizio gave me six wonderful oxheart tomatoes, so noble, so magnificent!).

When I was paying I saw the passion: the most red, parfumed and rich peaches I ever seen. I bought 3 kilos of them.
Il marchese Sanna saw me near the zucchini stand and screamed: “Caro mio! (My dear) so you are now here: you'll fly to Prague soon or you stay “chez mamma'” some weeks?”

Each day he asks the same thing.

He's an old noble, without money and palaces, but his nobility and his being sniffy are intact and Now he's a little bit out of mind.

“Marquis, good morning. No, it's four years that I'm here in Italy and I think I will fly to Prague just for vacation next year”
“Oh my dear, give a kiss on the hand to the countess when you come back to Prague”

I never knew who is this countess, but in his eyes it's easy to read that he was fallen in love to this woman.
I went to the piazza del Comune for an espresso.

From the steeple the sound of the morning: ten o clock.
Nice sunny day, a little windy, tha square was clean, two or children were playing football with the old traffic policeman, the country store owner was singing his fabulous prices.

I love this place.

funny or tragic?

2009-07-23T15:14:00.002+02:00

Yesterday I did the plan for my new book.
I began at 6 ,15 (I remember it because it's when my mother listen to the first wheather forecast. It's her religion: she has to follow all tv wheather forecasts, Seattle and Peking included).
I like writing when the air is fresh, neighbours are sleeping, at the crack of dawn.

My old caffettiera gives me the drink I need to be ready.

“So, First of all: Serious, tragic history or romantic and with humor?”

The choice is hard.

I've wrote four books, three humorous and one, the last, tragic, violent.Which soul wants to prevail this time for my new book?
I didn't know. Some stories in real life are tragic but to me are so hilarious.

And when sometimes people are laughing I think: Why? It's such a sad story???

"Well: my friend the destiny will help me!"

And he did.

“If the first voice I hear is a man the story will be tragic. If I hear a woman, well, humorous book!”

“Bastard birds. Go make shits on your t shirts!!!”

I knew it: “Good morning signora Pizzi, come sta? (how are you?)”
“Fine Italo, but you know, I didn't sleep: the bones, legs hurt and I spit out a lot of catarrh”

Wonderful start of the day!

But also if she's disgusting, miss Pizzi helped me.

I will write a funny story.
Coffee is finished. I go for an espresso. Ciao.

Sea story?

2009-07-21T17:42:00.004+02:00

Sunday morning, at seven o clock, after my coffees, the light of genius: let's go to the beach and “capture” words, smiles, love, drama, colours, for a marvellous “sea story”!
Yes, why not?

So Me and my friend Maurizio we went to Argentario, in Tuscany! Clean water, divine food, sweet people.

We had to depart from our village at 08.00h, because of the traffic.
At 09.00 I was still in my house. At 9.15 my friend came:“Sorry, Italo. You know, Mamma had to go to the cemetery, I had to give water to my pomodori (tomatoes). They are so fleshy, after the beach you must to take a couple of them”.

Fifteen minutes of quiet and peace.

At 9.30 we were in the queue on the highway.
My friend screamed: “Why these bastards on the streets now? Stupid Italians! Why you don't stay at home?” He screamed this for two hours.
At 11.45 he got out of the car and with a peacefull face said: “Nice sweet day, huh?”

“Now “I thought”I will on the beach and I'm sure the pictures of my book will fly on my eyes. There will be some romantic couples! No, better: a couple in crisis. She cries, he smokes and think to another girl. No, I don't like these stories. Maybe an old couple, an English family in vacation in Italy. They lived until today bored, but.... now he looks at her and....in a flash... he remembers why he loves her so much! And they kiss each other, a little tender kiss”.

"Well, we'll see".

We arrived to the beach.
A flock of italian young guys with cappelletti from NY or LA sang american songs, changing the words “love” and “hate” with an unlimited list of swearwords. Their “girls” were shocked and they said to them … with another list of screamwords!
We went on the desert side. I wanted to read a book and maybe write down some sentences, and my friend wanted to sleep. Some people walked in front of me: three fat managers in swimming trunks from Rome talking about the secret of “carbonara” sauce; dozens of Germans (it's easy to recognize them, they never speak on the beach and I don't know why), and a lot of beautiful italian women!

During the day I wrote just one only phrase:

“Remember to go to Maurizio's vegetables garden for the pomodori”.
No one sea atmosphere. No one little story for my book.
But I will find it somewhere.

I'm sure of it.

FIRST DAY

2009-07-18T10:09:00.003+02:00

Yesterday I said: “Tomorrow morning I WILL planning my book, it will be my first thing, after tha wakening”.

And I did it!

Today I woke up at 06.00, as always; I prepared my coffees (three for the wakening, one for pleasure), croissant finished because of the mouth of my half-human brother, so I ate one ciambellina (it's a donut, but.. Italian!?!).

I checked on the balcony if some strawberries are red (I payed 20 euros to eat only two strawberries!).

And after this... finally!

Finally?

Well, after checking strawberries I went running with my brother. To write a best seller I need to be in goog shape (mens sana in corpore sano).
Six km in the wood. Nice.
Now, really, I began the planning of my book.
So, in front of me the notebook.

Silence (Well, italian silence: screaming old neighbours, guys on scooters, the greengrocer screaming how his zucchini are bigger, better, greener!
“Italo, do it, write the first sentence” said me the notebook”

Yes, after the running I often miss oxygen and things speak to me.

And I wrote my first sentence:“The best 2010 book plan”.

I think it's enough.

Now I can go to the beach. Ciao.

New day

2009-07-16T15:08:00.005+02:00

Hi friends.
I decided to write my blog in English (even if I never studied English in my life:( ).

Why this blog and why here in this platform?

I'm a writer, I wrote four books (The best unsuccessfull books in the world!).
Italian tales, italian atmosphere. Italian language.
For my new book I would like something...new!
It's a good idea, isn't it?

My coffee is ready.
The smell of coffee in my house, croissants on the table near my newspaper; a sweet old neighbour is screaming against husband, sons, berlusconi, birds shit on her shirts on the drying rack: the day begins perfectly!